“The rules of the dance are simple: if the caller announces a circumstance that has occurred in the lifetime of you or your partner, you must leave the dance floor at once.”
by Juliet Gordon
Anyone who has played a mournful rendition of “Don’t Bogart That Joint” on a Jew’s harp while waiting for the 6 train at 14th Street—Union Square.\
Anyone who has been struck by lightning upon leaving a licensed and registered S&M dungeon managed by a one-eyed Filipino woman.
Anyone who has left his dentures poolside.
Anyone who has sprayed a Shih Tzu with expensive French cologne.
Anyone who has bicycled naked in the rain to the liquor store only to find it closed for remodeling.
Anyone who has unwittingly driven up a commercial truck’s loading ramp and reemerged on the Baja Peninsula.
anyone who has undergone the slow and agonizing process of realizing they will never be a cat on broadway…and they cannot possibly achieve the pitch necessary for memories or the song about the magical mystery cat
anyone who has accidentally bitten off their partner’s mole during a fucked up one night stand
anyone who confuses the discomfort of an onslaught of a sinus infection and buildingly mountainous cheek zits
all individuals who were rendered star struck and tongue tied when first clamping eyes on the smithsonian’s ruby slipper exhibit
any person who has exercised their singing voice by sticking their head into a toilette bowl
those who find the color combination of evergreen and acid puke green titilating