blah blah blog slog slog slog 2 days and outta here

by heytherewildflower

I’ve spent the good part of the second to last day of my unproductive repulsive summer in CO Springs reading through the Seattle SLOG blog.  i guess one of the redeeming qualities of this summer is the considerable amount of time i’ve spent in misdirection blowing my load on whatever literary or academic fancy.

so I ended up spending an hour or so reading the book review section of the blog. It feels almost as good as actually reading a book.

but even the book review section of the slog blog uses its advertising space to promote PERSONALS and WOMEN SEEKING MEN. and these ads are for TRENDY HIP AND FASHIONABLE BETTIES and they make me feel sick and queasy.

-need to start writing book, but cant until i’ve done more interviews with Anna’s dad, finished more Faulkner books, gotten my shit together, saved up enough money to go to the Bahamas with them to just write for 3 weeks

-forming relationships with people is difficult and takes effort and sometimes its all for nothing and i hate it. and i hate making the effort and i hate putting myself out there and i hate most people and especially the idea of urban dating, and i hate that i dont hate it as much as i want to

AND I DONT WANT TO BE AN URBANITE equally as much as i dont want to be stuck somewhere in the middle of nowhere.

want to be on a boat

going nowhere, but atleast always moving. preferably with someone who makes me laugh and makes me cum.

and thats it.

(to be fair, there’ve been more than a few redeeming factors/elements/qualities/moments of this summer. just, over all, i feel like a total fucking loser for spending it here. should be working on block island or doing an internship in publishing. but i was too late in all the summer deadlines….so…what can you do.)


to make myself feel better im going to eat cake