Barefoot Earth Mother Raver is the new Cokehead Yuppy

by heytherewildflower

one thing (of the many things) that irks me deep, from blood pooling in my gut ulcer down to the tips of my misshapen toenails is when my mom tells me to have A POSITIVE ATTITUDE or qualifies the character of a friend or acquaintance of mine or hers based on their POSITIVE ATTITUDE.

and she says POSITIVE ATTITUDE and her voice rises half an octave. gets all breathy. and her eyebrows arch (ruining her usually wrinkle free forehead.)

ali, I like her! she’s a good one! she has a POOOOSSSIIIITIVEE ATTITUDE!

ali, cleaning the toilet crud with your bare hands isn’t all that bad, you just need a POOOOOOOSIIIIIITIIIIIIIVE ATTIIIIIITUUUUUUUDE !

its this horrible catchall indicating GREATER THAN 5 on the richter scale of likability. or the bandaid solution for overcoming anything and adversity and sickness! and death!

For the most part, I think positive attitude people are repulsive little fuckups whose positive attitude is a thin layer of syrup coating a truly abhorrent and rotten core. like hardened caramel on a month old candy apple.

furthermore, having a POSITIVE ATTITUDE in the face of adversity is only effective if its sarcastic and you can laugh at it.

Im a big fan of laughing at my own misery and the absurdity of the circumstances that got me there. I think that shits good and just about all you can ask for, really.

BUT THIS THING. with the positive attitude. its the same thing

as back east barefoot earth mothers and their patagonia uniforms and their yoga outfits and the cutie pie aprons they wear when they bake kale chips (drizzled in extra virgin olive oil, ooof couurse.)

and MY POINT IS:

I like Seattle. Here, we have hipsters who don’t pretend like they’re not pretentious (they’re so OVER it,) and they shop at artisanal delis and trader joes. and they buy produce at farmers markets. and their eyeglasses are designer, duh. and thats it. rolled bike pants motherfucker!

also, we have the alt girl with the dyed hair. I appreciate.

lolita fifties goth girl with pink and red accents. I APPRECIATE.

we have punky gay man.

we have fashion boy gay man.

flower child wearing forever 21 espadrilles.

yuppies.

slick graphic-y computer nerd creatives.

flower turban wearers.

so very refreshingly honest.

I will not have a positive attitude.

I will just have an attitude.

let the Seattle rain clouds get their pOUR ON

im better than ready

love from

gothic eighties dress, and me inside it.

gloom and doom and velvet.

velvet kitten heels.