safe place in your brain
dear coffee cup with head in it,
i just dont know about you.
in theory, i think you are awkwardly frightening. in reality, i would love you.
the rule of hats states i am awkward and frightening in my tastes, so lets just pretend this inner dialogue never occurred.
fuck that imma blog about it
Dear Kid in High School,
Not that you really give a shit what I have to say, cuz kids in high school love not giving a shit, but I also know that you actually give a huge steaming pile of shit, so shut up your face and listen.
You’re allowed to care about stuff. That’s the first thing. Even if you think it’s stupid or weird, like polka music or “being obsessed with mimes.” One day you will look back not at all the things that made you cool enough to fit in, but the things that didn’t. And you will love them.
The second thing is write everything down. Even if you don’t like writing, just write about every obsession, story, hatred, happiness—whatever. And save it. All of it. I say this because when you’re an adult, you will get drunk with your friends one night and read your diary out loud to them.
It will be the funniest night of your life.
When teachers say, “This is the best time of your life,” they are wrong. They are only saying that because they’re teachers and they have to look at your weird faces every day. There is no “best time of your life,” but rather perfect moments, like when someone’s gum falls out of their mouth while they’re telling a story, or when a jerk is walking toward you and accidentally gets hit in the head with a soccer ball. Make sure to store these moments in a safe place in your brain. They will be useful to you in the future, I promise.
But also, quit bitching about being in high school. At least your mom still makes you dinner at night, and that rules.
I’m not gonna say don’t do drugs because that’s ridiculous, just don’t take anything that is known as an “epidemic” (crystal meth, Oxycontin). When they tell you in health that they’re addictive, they’re not “just trying to scare you into being a normie,” and it’s not all “government propaganda.”
Stick with pot, acid and booze and you will have way better memories. When you do acid or shrooms and you think you might be having a bad trip, get a piece of candy and hold your friend’s hand and it will go away. Try not talking for a while, too. If it’s still bad, well, whatever, it will be over in 14 hours.
If you want to stay out all night, say you’re sleeping at a friend’s house.
If you come home super early and your mom says, “Why are you home so early?” you say, “I got homesick and I missed you.” She will then make you eggs and you can watch TV.
If you don’t want to change for gym a good trick is putting sweatpants on over your jeans. If you don’t want to go swimming say you have your period. If you want to go home early or get out of a class, give the nurse a general “my stomach hurts.” If she asks you, “How does it hurt?” you say, “It’s just pain.” There’s no cure for that.
You might feel at times that you are ugly and disgusting and unlovable. Some of you might feel as though you are beautiful and hot and cool and awesome. Know this: When you’re in your 20s you go through, like, a time machine of opposite days. What I mean is, everyone who thinks they are hot shit in high school eventually turns into cold diarrhea by their 30s.And all you ugly nerds will eventually start to sparkle like geodes. If you don’t believe me you can ask Facebook.
Hmm, what else what else? Some things I regret: not learning an instrument (I gave up playing the sax, wish I hadn’t), not learning a foreign language (got kicked out of Spanish), not taking more acid (was afraid of bad trips but regret now due to lack of funny stories).
I don’t know what else. You guys are gonna do whatever you’re gonna do, fuck that up, do it again, and so it goes.
You all probably know just what you’re doing anyway and don’t need any advice at all, isn’t that right, you little smartass?
I’ll be watching you. I am the eyes and ears of this institution.
isn’t anna dello russo such a fucking weirdo with her goddamn ugly ass baroque frames and narcissistic insistence upon adopting J’ADR as some kind of trademark using her initials. blech. whatever. always love green and red tones together. its the first rule of the red obsessed. must think outside of the christmas box. there is one color combination that will never be good and that is purple and green. and thats because of barney.
this outfit is complete with snake bangles. MEANING, it is perfect and there is no arguing with MS ADR on the styling (Even though I’ve found her outfits to be a bit ba ba bla sheep lately…) (this red lipstick is too too good.)
HAVE FUN IN SCHOOL while i die in the hustle, bitchez
wanna know somethin funny? the model in the pictures above is crystal renn. one of the first and only famous semi-household name in plus size modeling to come along since…i dont know who. probably no one. the media liked to sucks its own dick for years over her….applauding her success, a tool for fashion fucks to toot their progressiveness, and finally, for the media to rip her to shreds because she was losing weight and barely plus size anymore!
her body was exploited in such a way, worse than pornographic. she is an aesthetic jesus. or like bob dylan going electric.
apparently she is as thin as a regular model now…and to that i say….
“if i followed what the public or media wants from me, i’d be doing the same thing, i’d have developed a binge eating disorder.”
check out her book called HUNGRY