Maybe this is why I am unemployed

by heytherewildflower

I just filled out a job application that supplied the following questions….

(supplied, too, are my answers.) (which begs the question, what the fuck kind of jobs am I applying for and the answers beg DUH OF COURSE they don’t hire me.)

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1. music:

I like everything from Abba to the Butthole Surfers. I love Johnny Cash. My adoptive pet rat is named Monk.  I am tragically tone deaf. The tragedy belongs to the people most present in my life because I constantly sing at them. Tone deaf or not, a 22 year old girly girl could never sound like Danzig.

2. your favorite web site / app:

My favorite iphone applications are p(ocket)-universe because I like cosmology and the OED iphone application because I love learning etymologies. My most abused iphone applications are twitter and instagram. Shamefully, my favorite website is style.com.

3. twitter – here to stay or gone tomorrow?

Twitter will likely be swallowed or absorbed by a greater umbrella system.

4. what’s your relationship with technology?

My relationship to technology as communicative is synthetic, and, as mechanical, is disastrous. The evolution of communication is my primary fascination. As communication becomes increasingly tied to and reliant upon technology I will actively strive to become educated in the development of its systems.

5. style vs substance:

To stylize is a substantive art; but without substance with which to style, nothing exists to begin with. I appreciate emphasis on style as a means to alter or properly frame a material of substantial character. I think a creative product lacking in style is a forgivable, but stunted, entity. Contrarily, I think a thing lacking substance is despicable. If the point of the creation is style without substance, it’s a bad joke. I think irony is boring.

6. slow moving animals:

Some slow moving animals make good eating. I prefer fish. Other slow moving animals make charming pets for lazy people. A rat is a good compromise for a busy person whose home is a lazy space.

7. how many friends do you have on fb? why so many/few?

I have 750 friends on facebook. I think this is an average number. I’ve moved around a lot and so I make a point to add the people who I want to keep knowing. If I stop wanting to know them, maybe I’ll delete them. Sometimes I add people because I am nosy.

8. if a robot does “the robot” would it still be called “the robot”?

If you are mowing the lawn are you dancing?