HAIR

by heytherewildflower

I have this problem and it is called hair. by problem, I mean GLORIOUSNESS. I think there was this one time when I was going through a crisis in the 6th grade (6th grade girls are MEAN) and I had a little panic and it may have resulted in a cropped chop at the shoulders. That was once. one time thing. Otherwise, my hair has been a long ass mass of wooly mayhem before and ever since. Now days cutting it off may be the last thing on my list of things I will never do.

Ego, Comfort object, Defense mechanism, it’s all in the hair.

Only one problem is that perceived spaciness and tendency to blurt strange comments when feeling shy COUPLED  with the wild tangle on top of head makes everyone think I am a goddamn stoner.

The joke is, every single person relevant to my life (as far as I can think of) is a stoner or at one point has been a stoner. but not me. I am far too neurotic/jaded to smoke a lot of weed. ALso, I’d rather buy shoes.

It pains me to go to interviews with my hair tied up (stripped of ego, comfort object, and defense mechanism in one fell swoop) but I do believe no functional member of society will go out on a limb to hire my hair and dosage of oddball. It is a sad sad story.

The funny thing is, yesterday I went on a job interview with a company in the business of weed. I had no idea if the hair and the kook would count for me or against me in this scenario. I settled for a ponytail and not a bun. Still, how do you CONVINCE someone who looks at you

and sees your hair and

sees you pouncing on a job,

selling yourself for a job,

that has to do with weed

that YOU ARE ACTUALLY NO DAMN STONER despite the fact you don’t have anything against weed smoking because clearly… you’re gunning for a job that has to do with it?

CON UN DRUM

CON DUMB DRUM

I wanna scream IM NO MARLEY GROUPIE IM JUST SPECIAL!

ED

(hire me?!)

people would probably think similar thoughts about luna lovegood, BUT HELLO she’s a Ravenclaw!!

~

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