by heytherewildflower

To be honest, I haven’t spent very much time hanging out with girls this year. I used to consider myself a girl’s girl. or a girly girl. or something a long those lines. Come to think of it though, every time I have been part of a girl gang (or a girl gang satellite)… something goes terribly wrong and some catty fucktastrophe undermines it. So I abandon my affiliations because I am an avoider.  I avoid. I pretend what scares me or makes me uncomfortable doesn’t exist. The childish, weirdly competitive mean girl thing is just too much. And the internet only makes it worse. Girl dramas scare the shit out of me.

On this here blog, I am pretty critical of myself because I would rather take aim at my own flaws than point out the flaws or failings of others. I also find it refreshing to come clean and laugh at myself. zero bullshit. And personally, when I read self reflective pieces by or about women who admit to the same flaws and problems, I find it comforting. It assuages the human condition of loneliness. It is connective and charming.

Of course, sometimes I’ll take aim at somebody outside of my own person. I am not proud of it, but fuck it, for the most part it’s entertaining and harmless.  A random bird or pretentious dude will pass me on the street and I’ll say or tweet or think something snarky. The best and worst of us do it.

Admittedly I have nothing nice to say about Jane Aldridge.  For me she represents the perfect embodiment of the ugly underbelly of the American dream. Perfectly gross. And I can relate to her because she is just about my age and we share a few interests. I don’t wish her any personal harm but I think she achieved success in the most disgusting way. No better than Kim Kardashian with a sickly pretentious disguise of whimsy and good shoes. What she does with her fame and fortune amounts to exactly zero as far as improving the universe goes. I don’t pretend to be a saint. I don’t like this girl. If I ever tweet something like this, “fascinated by how repulsive you are and how repulsed I am by you” it is pretty much always 100% about her. Just if you were wondering or something. Sometimes I am a total asshole! I feel bad …but not enough to stop myself in the moment.

On the whole, I support women and I want the best for women and it makes me tearfully happy to see women succeed at their chosen vocations. I love, respect, and admire my girl friends.  And to see women behave badly (ie:  mean,  competitive, vindictive…etc) disappoints and confuses me. I think humans can do better. I have to believe humans can do better, otherwise, what else is there?

It’s no skin off my ass– but I do hold a candle for idealistic expectations. I think humans are essentially good.

I didn’t believe this in high school. But time and exposure to the good people and the less than good people all over the world has proven an argument for overwhelming decency.

I hate to love to put it out there, but we should have each others backs. Men are idiotic.

(so is Jane Aldridge)

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